Be Still My Heart

My best friend has my dream job.

Well let me clarify that… I have my dream job (being the mother of our little guy).

But if I was forced, at gun point, to go back into the corporate world, I would like to have my best friend’s job.

You see, she works for BREYER’S ICE CREAM.

That’s right. They pay her to market the best product ever created by man.

Of course, it’s no secret that I like ice cream.

And Breyer’s Chocolate ice cream is my drug of choice.

You would think that having one of your bridesmaids work for Unilever would mean unlimited access to free Breyer’s.

You would be wrong.

You see, if she gave me free ice cream, she would have to do the same thing for all of her other best friends since second grade, who helped her pack for England, taught her how to shop for antiques, and picked out the paint color for her foyer.

And that just wouldn’t be fair.

(Actually she knows that if she gave me free ice cream, Breyer’s market share in Upstate NY would take a precipitous plunge, from which the company stock could never recover. So, I gladly do my part to keep their revenues up.)

However, I do tell my dear friend all about my saving, simple, coupon lovin’ lifestyle.

At first I didn’t think I was getting through to her.

She just repeated things like, “huh?” and “you’re crazy,” or “you have way too much time on your hands” (just like best girl friends are supposed to).

But now, perhaps you’ll forgive me if I take a little bit of glee in the fact that there is a $1/2 coupon for Breyer’s Ice Cream available.

I think my sinister plot to save the world via ice cream is working!